OK, let’s just start by saying that I have had about 4 hours of crappy sleep, non-consecutive. I am feeling a bit out of it. But I made myself do a Wii step workout. I had a lot of motivation, which I’ll get to shortly. Last night, my husband had a late meeting, and I fell asleep on the couch. He woke me up while I was in the middle of a dream, around 11:30 pm. Went upstairs and got in bed. At 2 am, my daughter came in to tell me she’d had a bad dream. Got her back to bed. Fell asleep. Had my own bad dream. Woke up mumbling nonsense. Tried to get back to sleep. Woke up again. And again. Finally got up at 3:45 am. Did a little work. Dickered around. Gave in and went back to bed at 4:30 am and woke up when my alarm went off at 5:45. Needless to say, I had more than one thought of blowing off my workout.
But I knew I had to do it. I’ve been on a roll and this is not the time to start slacking and sliding back into bad habits. And suddenly, I had a huge motivator.
This morning before he left for work, my husband gave me the hard drive from my old, busted up laptop. It was a great machine, but the hinge had broken, making it extremely difficult to use. I got a new laptop and tried to pull my most important documents off it, but a lot of stuff got left on there, forgotten and “lost.” It’s been sitting there for a few years. I had what I needed on my new laptop and never really thought about the old one. Then my husband bought whatever cords he needed, removed the old hard drive, and gave me the whole contraption. I plugged it into my new laptop (which is now a few years old) this morning and … WOW.
I looked at all my old documents, remembering old clients and assignments. And then, I got to the photos. From 2007. This would’ve been the fittest I’d been in a while, after a big weight loss, and a decent period of maintenance. It didn’t take long to see that my kids weren’t the only ones who’d gotten bigger.
I debated on including those pictures in this post, but I just don’t want to do that. For me, it’s enough to know that it wasn’t so long ago that I looked–and felt–very different. It’s one thing to know you’ve bought bigger clothes or that you’re not able to stretch as far as you used to. But when you see it in a picture, that’s a little more “real.”
Like that old laptop, I’d been forgotten and “lost.” Set aside. Neglected. Not worthy of my time.
But now, I’m feeling even more motivated than before, and it’s time to get serious. It will take a few days to get a schedule figured out, but I’m planning to go back to strength training and continuing to focus on better nutrition. I’m setting small goals for myself, ones that are easier to achieve. I do best when I take it in small steps. And of course, I’ll get stronger as I go, right?