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Freelance writer & editor. My mission is to help families get fit and stay healthy.

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What was I thinking?

I’ve had a setback. I’ll just own up to it right now.

Yesterday was a horrible day, in terms of healthier living. My gym partner was doing a 5K race, but my son had a ball game so I couldn’t go. I have been so overworked lately that I chose the rare occasion to sleep in instead of hitting the gym solo for my weekly treadmill hour. Then my husband made biscuits with sausage and eggs. This is a semi-regular Saturday breakfast for us, I just skip the biscuits. Except yesterday, they looked so good. So I ate one.

It tasted weird. I separated it into 3 or 4 layers and tried to savor it. It still tasted weird. Gummy. Odd. The whole time I was telling myself, “OK, D, stay on track after this.” I also had a cup of coffee with my coconut milk in place of creamer, one of the better changes I’ve made lately but have been way too busy to blog about. No more flavored creamer for me, no artificial sugars or flavors to make my coffee more palatable. I use coconut milk and a little sugar in the raw. My husband likes his coffee pretty strong, and I don’t, so I need to sweeten it somehow. I’ve tried honey. It tastes gross. So I went to sugar in the raw.

For lunch, I combined some broccoli salad and some chicken salad that I get from my grocery store’s deli. They have been out of my beloved kale salad every time I go lately. Guess I shouldn’t have told all my friends how awesome it is. I also had some iced tea.

We went to my son’s ball game and I snuck in brought a bag of beef jerky for munching. Everyone else around me was eating burgers and hot dogs and nachos and crap while I happily plowed through my jerky stash.

I wasn’t too hungry, though, because my stomach felt weird. I figured it was the biscuit that morning. I try to be as grain free as possible, but I may take a bite of something here and there and it doesn’t seem to affect me too much.

After yet another loss – my son’s team won their first game, and has lost every game since then, 1-15 – some of the parents decided it was time for our boys to have some fun, so they organized a get together. We were told to just show up with snacks and they would provide pizzas and drinks. The host family has a wonderful property with a pool, huge grass area, basketball hoop, the works. The kids had a blast, and so did the adults. It was great to see everyone smiling and having a good time.

My son loves my BLT dip, which is equal parts mayo & sour cream, plus bacon, lettuce & tomato. So I made a big batch of that, and I asked him what he wanted to serve it with. He picked out a box of butter crackers. I knew I shouldn’t have those, but it was his party, so I let him choose. When we got to the party, there was a veggie plate with some kind of dip, and everything else was chips or cookies. Our host had a very large dispenser filled with water, ice, and orange & lemon slices, which I was glad to see. I didn’t want to horde the veggie plate, so I had some crackers, but I stayed away from the chips & cookies. They even had mint Oreos, which I just love. Then the pizzas arrived.

OK, let’s just say that I am not a big fan of the particular pizza chain (rhymes with Momino’s) we ordered from. However, one of our teammates has a brother who is a delivery driver for this chain, and we only have 2 pizza places in our town, so that’s what they ordered. And it was very generously paid for by our hosts, and this event was for the kids, not me, so I had no qualms about their choice. I knew ahead of time what would be served, and could’ve planned better.

So, quick review. Biscuit in the morning. Somewhat unsettled tummy. A few crackers. And now … pizza from a company that has never failed to make me ill.

I was doing well with my veggies, but that was all there was besides the pizza. So, I decided to try some. It didn’t even taste good. And it’s not like I thought it would. I was just so flippin’ hungry. I had three pieces, although I couldn’t finish the last piece. It tasted so gross.

And today, I feel absolutely horrible.

My stomach has been queasy and hurting and rumbly all day, with that “let’s not stray too far from the nearest bathroom” feeling. Unpleasant to say the least. And my scale showed a 3.5 pound gain. To be fair, it is just about that time of the month, so I can’t say for sure if that’s purely due to the grains or other factors, but let’s be honest: Lesson learned.

I was much more disciplined today: eggs with cheese for breakfast, a little orange juice during coffee hour at church, despite there being a ton of baked goodies and a cake to wish someone farewell, more of the broccoli & chicken salads for lunch, some turkey jerky, cheese, and a banana with some almond butter. Dinner will be a balsamic-marinated London broil, cheesy mashed ‘potatoes,’ which means cauliflower, a salad, and some single-serve crustless cheesecakes in jars. Sunday is the only day of the week that we have dessert. It’s a good way for me to stay on track, knowing when I’ll get my treat. Plus, I try to do single-serve portions whenever possible. No leftovers means I won’t be trying to talk myself out of nibbling on dessert a couple days a week.

So, I think it will be quite a while before I decide to do something dumb like that again. I will plan better for a party, and stay more disciplined on days I know I might be confronted with limited options at an event. It’s a lot easier to walk away from all that crap stuff when your stomach feels like it might erupt at any minute.

My stressful schedule will continue this week. I’m thinking it won’t be too bad, since most assignments are winding down, and I took some time on Friday to work ahead for other clients besides the magazine. But there’s always something that comes up at the 11th hour, so I need to be prepared for that. My son has a doubleheader at home tomorrow, a road game on Tuesday, a home game on Wednesday, and a doubleheader on the road on Saturday, so that will keep me busy when I’m not working. And of course, first & foremost, I need to do my most important, and favorite, job of all: being Mom. It’s a good reminder that these changes to my lifestyle are not just for my benefit, but for the benefit of my family and loved ones as well.

Here’s to a better week ahead.

5 comments to What was I thinking?

  • Sorry you are feeling so ill, but then again, hopefully the memory of this will fuel you to make even better choices next time. You did do great, most of the time, this weekend. But hey, none of us are perfect. You made a few mistakes. You know it. I don’t believe in cutting people slack over and over and over, but that’s not the case here or with you. I know you have learned from this lesson, so perhaps it was meant to happen, to serve that purpose. Onward and upward! :)

  • Donna

    Gwen, I figured it was bound to happen sooner or later. Until now I’ve been able to get by with a nibble here and a taste there without any real consequences. And yes, just thinking about how I felt all day will be enough to help me walk away in the future. Thanks for your support.

  • I’m wondering if the lttle bit of grains (biscuit) in the morning triggered cravings that made you want the pizza. I’m okay if I eat none, but if I even have a little bite I’m soon wanting more and more. I think you did well considering that you could have eaten more “junk” at the party.

  • Don`t beat yourself up over something so trivial. And if you must give in, savour every bite!

  • I struggle with social eating sometimes especially when there is a huge spread put out infront of me. I need to prepare ahead of time before going either by eating a smart snack or bringing something healthy I can nosh on. Planning ahead is definitely key!

    Good luck with everything! I definitely know what it’s like when one off-decision snowballs into something else.