Perspective

Geez, it seems like every blog post lately starts with “Sorry I haven’t had time to blog lately.” Well, I just haven’t had time to blog lately. But I am still working out. My favorite thing at this time of year is to head up to my local high school and use the track. I like to get out around 7 am, before it gets too hot. Even then, by the time I’m done, on some days it’s already too hot. But that’s as soon as I can get out of the house if I want to spend any time with my husband in the morning.

Today I had one of those “Duh, why didn’t I see it like this before?” moments. I think sometimes God puts those moments into our heads at the precise time because we are open to them and ready to receive the knowledge. Otherwise, why bother, right? I’ve had quite a bit on my mind lately. And between all of that and trying to keep up with Jack’s baseball tournament schedule and all of the fund raising that goes along with it, I’ve not had much time for blogging. Or thinking, for that matter.

So I get up to the track today and see that there are a few other ladies there. One is a woman about my age. She starts off walking and then jogs, slow but steady. I was immediately inspired by her because I noticed that she jogged at about my jogging speed whenever I was there. Thank.You.SISTER.

Next I saw another group that I’ve seen at the track before. Three ladies. All look younger than me. I’m sure they didn’t plan it this way, but they always walk in the same format: On the outside is the petite one, pushing a stroller. In the middle is a gal who looks like she might need to lose about 15 pounds, but is probably pretty healthy otherwise. And on the inside, closest to the center of the track is a gal who I would estimate to be about 80 pounds overweight. Now, please keep in mind I’m not judging. I just call it like I see it. It could be that the overweight gal is perfectly happy and content at her present weight, and the petite gal is totally miserable. I have no idea. Life’s funny that way, huh?

When I see that trio, I always have the same thought: Please, God, don’t let them lap me. These gals walk pretty fast, even with that stroller to slow them down. I try to make sure I stay at least a half a lap ahead of them at all times and know I need to get moving if I hear them talking as I round the corner or look over my shoulder and noticed they’ve made up some of the gap.

Today there were two more young women there that I’d never seen before. I would estimate that at least one of them was a high school track athlete and the other may have been a few years older. I never got a very good look at her. They were doing exactly what I used to do at that age: killer sprint intervals. Ever done those on the track? For an hour? It’s incredibly simple torture: Run the straightaways, jog the corners, repeat. Over and over and over. It’s fun for the first couple laps. Then you want to die. And then you just wish you were already dead.

I immediately heard my high school track coach screaming in my ear. “Dig! Dig! Dig!” (referring to my elbows, digging in so I could find a higher gear when I felt like my legs just couldn’t go anymore–there’s a lot of arm work in running) So I’m watching these two gals running. One is taller, slimmer, faster. The other is a little shorter, a little wider through the hips, a little slower. She had a soccer player’s body, if that makes sense. Strong, solid, just not very speedy. The taller girl looked like a hurdler to me. Long, graceful legs. Perfect running form. Stoic.

I looked at all of these gals as I walked my warm-up lap. And then it hit me and I saw it all so clearly.

That tall gazelle of a girl in the gray t-shirt? That used to be me. A long, long time ago.

That round, huffing and puffing woman in the stretchy black pants? That used to be me, too. Not quite as long ago.

And Steady Eddie? Little Mama chugging away at her own, comfortably slow but productive pace? That’s me right now.

In what I would call a convenient stroke of genius, God put them all in the same place, right in front of me, so I could see how far I’ve come, both ways, how far I have to go, both ways, and how I’m doing.

I took it all in for a minute and then got to work. First lap was an easy warm-up, second lap was a brisk walk, and the third lap was a jog. In the meantime, I passed up the trio. And the pair of young runners passed me a few times. And Steady Eddie and I pretty much kept pace with each other, whether I was running or walking.

I watched with appreciation as the young gals sprinted past me. I told myself, “Donna, you’ve done that before. You’ll do it again.” I think in the past, that would’ve made me feel bad, ashamed, guilty for letting myself get to this shape. But today I actually found it very inspiring. I thought about my old photos that I keep near the treadmill and really, really remembered what it felt like to go out and sprint at full speed. There was a delicious breeze blowing. Perfect weather for a running workout.

I looked at the trio and told myself that even though I may feel like it some days, I’ve come a long, long way from those stretchy black pants. One look at her and I knew I didn’t want to go back to that life. A very timely reminder, because I’ve been inching closer to it for a while now and it absolutely must stop.

I looked at Steady Eddie, just cruising along, her red ponytail bopping along in the breeze. That’s where it’s at. Slow and steady wins the race. I don’t expect to get back to my top sprinting form. For one thing, my knees are as old as I am. And for another, I don’t have 6 hours a day to train like I’d need to in order to get back to that speed. But I can do my best. I can continue to go out there each day and make the attempt, can’t I?

I did 8 laps total. That’s 2 miles on the track, plus it’s about a mile round trip from my house. So I figured I did 3 miles. I walked some, I ran some. But, I ran more than usual. I was tired but I thought of those girls and their interval training. I know I can’t keep up that same pace right now, but it motivated me to push a little harder and run until the next marker. I’ll take that for now. Every day I get stronger, if I allow myself.

I’m glad that I now have the perspective to see that.